Love Like This – Fighting Fair

Tip 1: Stay Calm. Did you know conflict is important & necessary in a healthy relationship? What matters is HOW you handle the conflict. Step #1 is to always remain calm. If you don’t think you can calmly discuss the issue with your partner, it’s okay to give yourself a time out. Take a break & come up with a solution later on.

Tip 2: Be Respectful! You & your partner are going to fight from time to time. Focus on the thing you are arguing about, don’t bring up the past. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong here, you want to come up with a way to compromise with your partner.

Tip 3: Listen to Each Other. When we are worked up & angry, we tend to only see our own perspective. We need to listen to our partners (always) but especially in conflict. What are they trying to tell me? How are they feeling? How can I express my feelings to my partner so they hear what I’m saying? Listening is key!

Tip 4: Know your boundaries! Remember, boundaries are rules we establish for ourselves that tell other people how to we want to be treated. We need to be firm with our boundaries & make sure others respect us, even in a fight. Maybe your boundary is that you won’t let others yell and scream at you – okay, have you expressed this to your partner? Maybe your boundary is that you won’t allow someone to call you degrading names – good! When your partner crosses a boundary, how do we confront them about it? Explain calmly & respect their boundaries in return.

Tip 5: Saying Sorry. It takes a lot of strength to apologize to someone, especially someone we are fighting with. Apologizing is an important step in order to come up with solutions & move forward together. Fighting involves both partners, so both partners need to work together to fix the problem!

Tip 6: Think about the future… If you want to continue in this relationship, you & your partner are going to have to end the fight & come up with a fair solution. Earlier this week we told you that conflict is actually healthy for a relationship! If you can swallow your pride and commit to making it work for both partners, you will be stronger in the end because of it.